Beginning Residential Treatment

If you have a teen in your life that has mental health concerns, there may come a time when in-patient treatment is necessary. For those teens who have addictions to drugs, alcohol or food, often the course of the disease leads to an inevitable hospitalization. There are treatment centers that specialize in caring for teens like my daughter with substance abuse addictions. When my daughters life stood on the line, we made the choice to find care for her in a long term residential treatment facility.

After several weeks of out-patient treatment with her addictions counselor and court-ordered for 3 weeks at a group home, my daughter's impulse control and risk taking behaviors had not improved but worsened. She had only 2 days left on her 21 day court-ordered stay at the local group home for juvenile delinquents when she and another child ran away from the home. It was a night, just this past February, one of those nights that is bitterly cold and raining. Here is how incapable my daughter was of thinking of what dangers may be ahead, her only thought was to find a way to get high. That night she got drunk, got high, and slept in a strangers backyard in an RV. When she awoke the next day, her friend had abandoned her, scared and alone, instead of turning to a phone to call for her family or help she turned to the streets to look for yet another high. Unfortunately in finding that next high she also found someone who would take advantage of her. That day my daughter was raped. At the tender age of 14, her life was so out of control and her emotions so numb and buried that she chose to continue on alone. It wasn't until the happenstance of a true friend driving by who stopped and picked her up, pulled my daughter from those wicked lonely streets. Her friend called me soon after to let me know where Sarah was. She didn't tell me until much later all that had occurred that day. My heart broke into a thousand pieces.

As a Mother who has watched her child go through such devastating experiences, I wanted to share with others who know the torrent of emotions that we parents burden. We love our children so completely, so unselfishly that we are willing to do whatever it takes to help them. Even if it means taking them out of your home, away from your protection and giving their care over to others. If your child is using alcohol or drugs, they are lying to you, lying to themselves and have become a great manipulator under your very eyes. Do not fool yourself into believing that you know your teen through and through, that you can trust implicitly what they tell you. If you see any sign at all of behavior changes, routine changes, sleeping patterns, eating habits, grades faltering, interests going to the wayside, act immediately. Search their rooms, search their book bags, talk to their teachers and friends. The act of betraying their trust by snooping is such a small thing compared to what could happen without your intervention.

Initially our insurance company agreed to a two week stay and planned to review the doctors and counselors assessments in order to determine if a longer stay is needed. The admission process was much more time consuming and extensive that I ever thought it would be. Of course, this boded well, showing the centers proclivity for thoroughness and attention to detail. I was assured my daughter would receive the best of care and begrudgingly, began to believe so. The admitting nurse although not the warm bed side manner I would have preferred, proved to be very good with kids. My Sarah absolutely loved her and had no problem answering her endless questions about family history, school, friends, and of course drug use.
When I picked up my things, getting ready to go home, it was as if she was 5 years old again and I was waving goodbye as she got onto the school bus. A mixture of sadness, fear and pride. The sadness you feel when watching a child grow from one step to the next, that pang for what is to never be again. I looked into her eyes and saw that the wide-eyed innocence of youth was truly gone. Ripped from her by a stranger filled with lust and greed. Although I knew she was safe, I felt a fear well up inside of me. I was afraid of those ghosts I knew would haunt her, afraid of yet more strangers who would ask her probing questions, and afraid of her feeling hurt and alone, my not being there when she needed me. More than sadness or fear I felt a great sense of pride, only a mother can feel. I saw this beautiful young woman she was growing into, the bravery she cloaked herself in, the smile on her lips and the comfort in her arms as she hugged me goodbye. She was about to face a tremendously difficult journey, wrought with the storms of change and yet I knew deep within me that she could face this tempest head on and that she would accomplish what she had set out to do. With a tear in my eye and a proud smile on my face I wished her the warmest wishes of success as we said our goodbyes.